'Shittiest Review We Have Ever Read'
(Editor's note: The following is a letter sent to us. The letter remains as is, with no editing done to it.)
Hi. We just read your review of the HeavySURF CD. As fans of the band for quite some time we must say yours is the shittiest review we have ever read. Let's see...because a band calls themselves HeavySURF they are supposed to sound like surf music? They live on Long Island, asshole! (You know - beaches, waves, etc.).
We've never read a review that waffled so much between positive and negative - make up your mind. 'A wonderful first effort' followed by 'get back on that board'? Please. And how many times can you use the word 'monotony' incorrectly in one article? Have you ever used a dictionary?
Are you some pimply-faced teenage emo-lover or some has-been (or never was)? What the hell is a 'knock around' band? What the hell are 'here-and-there' vocals? What is a 'completely four note song'? If you are aiming for a journalism job you'd better rethink your career.
We have yet to hear a band that sounds remotely similar to HeavySURF...but we can point you in the direction of ten 'Taking Back Sundays' here on LI, all without a shred of originality. Please let us know the name of your band - and give us a chance for an independent review. We'll let you know the score.
Maybe you should stick to photography...
p.s. Come out to a HeavySURF show if you think they are a 'mild wave.'
The HeavySURF crew (hanging ten at Ditch Plains)
Published July 1, 2007
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